Greatest Signs Of Our Times, Vol. 1: Stapleton Shoe Co.


I don’t know what it is about these signs that I find so funny, but they’re easily my favorite in all of New York City. They belong to Stapleton Shoe Co, located on Rector St. between Trinity and Broadway.

I’m sure my obsession with these signs has something to do with the complete lack of commitment or conviction behind them. It’s as if they’re saying, “Well, yeah, we pretty well could be the lowest priced in the city.  I’m not gonna go out on a freakin’ limb for you, asshole. I could get sued. Now, are you gonna buy something or what?”

The sign appears in at least three other locations outside the store (two of them can be seen below). While practically everyone else is across the street closely examining Alexander Hamilton’s grave, I’m staring at these damn signs.

Am I sick, or could it be that the rest of the world is missing something? I mean, how many chuckles are you gonna get out of Hamilton’s grave? He died in a duel with Aaron Burr. According to Wikipedia:

Burr’s shot hit Hamilton in the lower abdomen above the right hip. The bullet ricocheted off Hamilton’s second or third false rib, fracturing it and caused considerable damage to his internal organs, particularly his liver and diaphragm before becoming lodged in his first or second lumbar vertebra.  The paralyzed Hamilton, who knew himself to have been mortally wounded, was ferried back to New York.  After final visits from his family and friends and considerable suffering, Hamilton died on the following afternoon, July 12, 1804.

Okay, you got me; Hamilton’s death was fucking hilarious. But it still pales when compared to these damn signs.

For me, anyway.

2 Responses to “Greatest Signs Of Our Times, Vol. 1: Stapleton Shoe Co.”

  1. 2
    gene Says:

    I remember that sign. I can’t remember exactly where it was, though.

    Just found this on a site called Satan’s Laundromat (wish I’d come up with that name). Check out photo #6:

  2. 1
    jennyphresh Says:

    I love these, too. My favorite in Brooklyn used to be the one that said something along the lines of: “Cheaper than if it fell off the back of a truck!” To which, I always said “No, you fools! It can’t be cheaper than that!”

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